You say you want a resolution...

My New Year's Resolution for this year was based on my sister's friend Mary's blog or Facebook (can't remember...all the technology runs together) which at some point said, "2009-Year of makin' it happen." I decided that rather than choose few specific goals, I would just make myself do the things I always talk about doing, but never get around to, either out of fear or laziness. Thus far I have...

-gotten a tattoo

-dyed my hair a crazy color (purple, to be specific)

-signed up to run a 5k

-joined a lifegroup to get more involved at church, which also qualifies as joining a book club, since we're reading Flannery O'Connor.

I am also planning on taking surfing lessons this summer (which terrifies me, to be honest). What else? If you can think of something you've heard me say I'd like to do, call me out and unless it is ridiculously expensive, I'm goin' for it. Life is short, man. (Apparently a hippie typed that last sentence. But a smart hippie, who knows what he's talking about).

The best laid plans...

Yesterday, I ran to the grocery store and then walked home. It actually worked well-the grocery store was too close, so I ran down and back up the pier which is cool because you are running into the ocean. But when I arrived at the store I was hungry. So, unfortunately, my eyes were bigger than my arm muscles.

The walk home was rough. I bought a bottle of water, so I stopped and drank the whole thing, to lighten the load. I briefly considered hucking the bottle into the bushes, to make it that much easier, but thought better of it and carried it home.

But, I got to use my new shuffle, which delivered "Jump on It" by Sir Mixalot while I was running-it was mid-90's perfection.

6th Grade Poetry...

I assigned my students an "I am" poem for our poetry unit. You know, where the poem is formatted with the beginning of the line and they have to fill-in the blanks. I read them and alternated between laughing and finding some of them heartbreaking. So, here is my found poem from my 6th grade students:


I am astounding and curious
I am awesome and kind
I am sometimes mean and sometimes nice
I am a kind and caring gentleman

I cry about my mom and dad not together
I cry when I get near onions
I cry because my mom passed away
I cry when there's cruelty in the world

I dream of going to a Jonas Brothers concert
I dream of zombies eating people
I dream one day I can change the world

I wonder when the war in Iraq will end
I wonder why I am different
I wonder what I look like to others
I wonder why we have sports

I pretend to go into books
I pretend to be myself
I pretend that I did my homework
I pretend to be someone who I am clearly not
I pretend to be okay
I pretend that I can drive

I pretend to listen to my mom

I hope I do well in school and please everyone

I see snow fall from the sky like little peaces of heaven
I hear the rain hit my window like a bullet
I hear my mom call my name

I dream that one day I will be the richest man on earth for inventing or discovering something

I understand my mom is divorced
I understand life is like a freeway, sometimes bumpy and sometimes clear

I understand that sometimes everything can't be perfect

I understand everyone has to die

I hope my hear murmur gets cured
I hope I can figure out why me?

I worry my mom is hurt
I worry what will happen if my mom gets married
I worry I'm not smart enough

I want to have no other life than my own
I want more devastatingly cool DS games

I say good is in our hearts


Are you jealous of my job right now? I think you are, just a little.

Thoughts of the day...

1. I had a martini tonight called Hawaiian Sunrise (or maybe sunset?) at Yardhouse, and apparently Hawaii is delicious.

2. I am going to a drag show on Thursday night. Yessssss....

3. If a middle school student interviews you and asks a bunch of questions about retirement, and you are not planning on retiring this year after all, maybe you should speak up so they don't write an article about you and put it in the freakin' yearbook.

4. I am pretty damn assertive in the last few years. Boyfriend, administrator, random children in my school parking lot who look like they might throw a football at my car. I speak my mind.

5. It needs to stop raining so I can go running tomorrow morning. Who would have ever thought that I would speak that sentence?

6. I need to read two Flannery O'Connor short stories before Monday night. I am buying the book tomorrow. I have homework again, and I love it.

7. A girl from worked was shocked that I've never seen a stripper. "Haven't you had, like, a ton of friends get married?"  Yes, but I went to Biola. Who knew?

8. I started this list thinking it would only be a few items, but then when it grew I really want it to be ten.

9. My eyelids are heavy, my down comforter is warm, and my arms want to be under it and not typing anymore.

10. Good night.

YBK

Warning: This is a really long blog about the Carnegie Middle School yearbook. It's probably only interesting to me.

So, can I just say that I love doing yearbook? It's busy, it makes WAY more work than I would otherwise have, I have to deal with every club adviser in the school, my brain is constantly thinking of what we need to photograph. But, it's my favorite part of my job.

I love going through photos and seeing that one of the kids got an awesome picture. Today, I was editing the Dances page and there is a picture of two girls jumping and dancing and the photographer caught them at the perfect moment. The PE page has a picture of two boys jumping in mid-air to do the tip-off in a basketball game. The girl taking pictures of Leadership students counting flyers stood on a table to get a different angle, and it makes what otherwise would have been a boring picture pretty cool. And I love that these are my 12 and 13 year old students.

I love reading an article about an event we do every year that has a creative beginning, way better than I could have thought of. The article for the Science Convention, where the kids dress up as a famous scientist, begins like this: "Have you ever wondered who invented the telescope, discovered electricity, or invented peanut butter? Well, on November 24th in Power's Hall, you could find your answer." The girls doing that page also want to do a matching game, where they'll have pictures of the students in costumes and then have the scientists names on the side, and people have to match up who's who. Love it!

I love seeing the kids be creative and make pages that I would never make. The Spirit Week page is straight out of the 80's, with pink and blue squares in the background. The girls doing 8th Grade Favorites put the names on the pictures themselves, and put the categories running vertically next to the pictures. It made my least favorite page look actually pretty cool.

I love that I get to go through each page and edit it-it's like getting to be on yearbook staff, but not having to do all of the work-I just get to have my final say on each page. So, in two weeks when I am spending all weekend editing the 38 pages that are due, I might complain about it. But I'm full of crap. I love every second of it. 

Loved

When my mom told my grandma about my tattoo, she said, "Oh, I love Jessica so much, I wouldn't care if she got a tattoo on her face."

That made me feel more loved than I have in a long time. Because I think my grandma really dislikes tattoos. But she loves me. 

AND, now I can finally get my face tattoo, just like I've always dreamed of.

Half-full

Somedays, I don't feel like an optimist.

Given just the right algorithm of age, times the number of friends getting married, to the bronchitis power, plus the number of papers I have to grade, divided by days until my National Board Portfolio is due; sometimes it all equals half empty.

But, I choose hope. I choose to believe that life is good. That the things that I want will happen for me. That while my happiness doesn't always look how I expected it to, it's still happiness. Wrapped in Pinkberry, covered with a good movie, tied with the bow of sleeping in tomorrow, there it is. My optimism, a gift just for me.